15 Weeks

Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh.

Where are the sparkly days of pregnancy? WHERE THEY AT??

Let’s see, I left off at throwing up Cheerios at work. The next day I was just chillin, minding my business at home, and threw up my dinner. Sigh.

This morning when I was getting ready to leave for work I sneezed really hard 4 times in a row. Which triggered my gag reflex. Which triggered me throwing up stomach acid. Which triggered me tinkling a bit on myself while throwing up said stomach acid. Fuck everything.

Still not gaining weight, still not able to eat much. I tried Ensure vanilla and good Hades, that shit was disgusting. I have strawberry in my fridge but I’m afraid to try it.

Any ready-made calorie-full suggestions you guys have, I’ll take. Not snacks, but meal-replacement shakes, etc. Keep in mind I haven’t been able to cook/prepare smoothies on my own so pre-made is what I need right now. Halp.

I don’t know if I mentioned this last time and I’m too lazy to open another tab and check, but I switched from OB to midwives. Same practice, same hospital affiliation, just midwives. My first appointment is the 29th, so I’m excited about that. My birthday is the 25th, on a Friday. I was born on a Friday so it’s an extra awesome long holiday weekend.

I can’t believe I’m almost 16 weeks. When I was trying to conceive, I used to think about the 15-16 week mark specifically. I could never imagine being “that” pregnant. It sounded so….real. Now that I’m here, it STILL doesn’t feel real. I still don’t feel “pregnant” per se, just sick. Like I need an episode of Mystery Diagnosis (shout-out to Discovery Health). Maybe I’ll feel “pregnant” when we find out if Minicorn is a boy or girl? Maybe when I feel Minicorn moving, though I have an anterior placenta which can muffle movement when most other women can feel it, THANKS FOR THAT YOU’RE JUST THE GIFT THAT KEEPS GIVING MINICORN! I kid. <—- See what I did there?

Anyhoo, if you need me I’ll be trying to think of things I can eat without thinking too hard because food makes me sick. K bye.

Dreams

I was going to put this on Tumblr but I eventually want to make a book for Minicorn and Tumblr’s archives are a bitch to search.

Sunday night I had a dream Crabby and I went to Sprinkles to redeem our coupons for free cupcakes (something we actually have in real life). Then, when we got outside, it had gotten dark. Crabby parked really far so we set off. Then, a cat jumped off of a chair (yes, outside. I don’t know.) and ran toward us like it was going to attack us so we ran. Another cat came toward us. Crabby ran ahead to get the car and I was trying to keep up while screaming my face off, terrified.

Dream analysis says if you’re a cat lover, and you’re getting chased/are afraid of the cats in the dreams, the cats represent femininity, power, sexuality, etc. and I could be afraid of that element of myself. What’s more feminine than being pregnant and giving birth? Craaaaaaaaazaaaaaaaay.

The next night I had a dream I gave birth to a girl. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. I just want to document these before I forget about them.

Also, I just threw up for the first time at work. Guess Minicorn doesn’t like Multigrain Cheerios. Thanks for letting me know.  -__-

13-14 Weeks

Last week’s post got away from me! I meant to update after my last check-up on Thursday. Hey guess what?! I hit 14 weeks yesterday which means (if you go by the 42 week pregnancy; 2 weeks past estimated due date) I am now officially for real for real in the 2nd trimester! I am officially 1/3 of the way through pregnancy! Whaaaaaaaaaaat? How did I get here (no Deborah Cox)??

This is so surreal but I am starting to get excited. I started working on a registry with basic things like crib, etc. Shout out to Melissa, Desiree, and Vinny for all their detailed help so far.

The other good news is that I am feeling so much better! No more nausea except if I get really hungry or overeat. The ever-annoying food aversion symptom is still hanging around suppressing my appetite. Hopefully that gets better in the next couple of weeks.

But y’all. The evening after I posted the 12 week blog post. Had a couple of slices of pizza at a work gathering. Went home. Crabby had the idea of grinding my prenatal into a powder and taking it that way because I kept choking/gagging/throwing up when it was whole or even cut into pieces. I had reservations because I could tell the taste was gross and it is a HUGE pill which would mean a fuckton of powder. But I was desperate. So I did it. FATAL MOTHERFUCKING ERROR. As SOON as the powder hit my tongue I had to run to the bathroom to spit it out. Then up came the pizza. And everything else that had even thought about being in my stomach. Mind you, I already had an ulcer/canker sore at the back of my tongue or throat from throwing up so much. Y’all. I threw up SO BADLY my throat was burned to the point of bleeding. My uvula was swollen so that it felt like I was choking on something everytime I swallowed. It hurt like knives to swallow. I couldn’t talk. It was AGONY. I couldn’t go to work that Thursday or Friday.

That weekend I hit up Target and found the gummy prenatals that a blog commenter so thoughtfully AND ANGELICALLY SUGGESTED NO SERIOUSLY THANK YOU. They have been saving my life deliciously EVERY NIGHT SINCE. God bless America.

I’ve only thrown up once since then; Saturday after gagging while brushing my teeth. I had video game hacked THAT even because someone on Twitter said it’s almost imporssible to gag while humming. So I tried that and hadn’t thrown up while brushing my teeth at all. But Saturday I forgot to hum; I was daydreaming about leggings and tunics or something. It wasn’t that bad, just stomach acid and it didn’t even burn. My throat is probably completely scarred over at this point.

BUT I’M FEELING GOOD Y’ALL! The other great news is that the cyst on the umbilical cord has completely resolved….it’s GONE! Yay!

I’ve also lost a bunch of weight. I actually weigh less than I did before I got pregnant O_O The OB didn’t seem concerned though; and friends/family have told me it’s common.

I’m going to switch over to the midwives from this point on (still in the same hospital); I am just waiting for them to call to set up an appointment. 6 more weeks until we find out the sex of Minicorn. I still think boy but man I have been getting some HARDCORE girl signs lately. We’ll see.