My existence is a life-long treasure hunt.

So…about this.

I ovulated on March 17 (THAT’S RIGHT I’M STARTING BACK FROM A BLOG HIATUS WITH A NICE CUP OF TMI, DEAL WITH IT). On that day, as I was walking to my car a ladybug landed on my bag and stayed there until I got in the car, then flew off. Enchanting.

That Saturday, we drove up to Dallas for Desiree’s baby shower. I kept thinking back to when she gave me those boxes of ovulation predictors and said that she hoped I would be pregnant by her baby shower. At that point, it looked like another month, another bust. Driving home, I stared at the Supermoon almost the whole way back. I have had a fascination with the moon since I was a baby so you can frequently catch me staring at it. I thought about it’s status as a fertility symbol and wondered if the Supermoon meant Superfertile times were ahead.

Then, on a message board I joined for women trying to conceive, a few of us decided to take pregnancy tests on Tuesday. We called it Testing Tuesday. I threw in a lawyer disclaimer and said that I didn’t want to waste a pregnancy test so I would just take an ovulation test.

For those who don’t know, the hormone released before ovulation and the hormone released during pregnancy are almost exactly the same. The pregnancy hormone just has a little something extra, which means the ovulation predictors will pick up on the hormones that the ovulation and the pregnancy hormones share. Which means if I know that I have ovulated, if the ovulation predictor turns up positive, it could be detecting the pregnancy hormone. If it’s negative, then I don’t have to stress out about taking a pregnancy test.

So back to Testing Tuesday. I said I’d take an ovulation test BUT only if my temperature didn’t drop in the morning. I’ve been charting (it’s really a lot easier than it looks/sounds) and when my period is on the way, my basal temperature drops dramatically. My period is due Saturday so Tuesday is when the temp should have dropped. It didn’t, so I decided to test.

I peed in a cup and dipped the ovulation predictor in. As it was developing, I dumped the pee in the toilet. As I’m washing my hands I’m thinking, tra-la-la, it’s going to be negative and that’s okay, time to brush my teeth, I wonder who will take the dogs out this morning because–(I reached over to dry my hands)–HOLY SHIT THERE’S A SMILEY FACE. IT’S POSITIVE.

At that point I turned into a velociraptor with a jet-pack and scissors (please embiggen (I hate QQ) the picture for full impact).

My thought process went something like DAAAAAAAH IT’S POSITIVE! BUT IT’S TOO LATE TO USE THE PREGNANCY TEST BECAUSE I DUMPED MY PEE! OH BUT I DIDN’T FLUSH IT NOW DID I? THE PEE IS STILL AVAILABLE. I’M GOING TO USE THAT PEE ASLDFJAOSEIRJAW;LJ

So like the crackhead that Desiree later called me, I frantically ripped open The Precious–my sole, lone, solitary digital pregnancy test….AND DIPPED IT INTO THE TOILET-O-PEE. I lost my marbles y’all. This was the result:

Smiley Face Ovulation Predictor, Digital Pregnancy Test

So then I was like WHATCHU MEAN NOT PREGNANT? I GOT A SMILEY FACE AND I’M NOT OVULATING BECAUSE I ALREADY OVULATED SO WHATCHU TRYNA SAY? Then I calmed down and thought, I need to buy another test.

Crabby came in at that point, not quite awake and I’m sure I said something like BABY WE GOTTA BUY ANOTHER PREGNANCY TEST BECAUSE A;LDKGSJAOSEIRJAOWEIJFOAWEJT and he just blank-stared me, said OK, and got a towel for his shower.

So all day I’m CRUNKED UP and Desiree is telling me to wait to test again until Saturday because that’s when I’d be “late” but everyone on the message board, Crabby, and KeKe were like ZOMG NO YOU GOTTA TEST NOW OKAY NOWWWWWWW.

So my….CAR drove me to Walgreens after work (I had no control over the car, I had to obey, I swear) and I figured WELP since I’m in the neighborhood I might as well pick up a coupla tests. So then I thought ok, Imo take the test in the morning like a good woman with the most concentrated, hormone-full pee ever. Then I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for bed and was like FUCK THAT, B, IT’S TWO TESTS IN THIS BOX SO IMO DO ONE TONIGHT. So I did and…

*FAINT*

So then I leave the bathroom and walk toward Crabby like this (you might have to click on it to get the full effect)

He doesn’t see me approaching because he’s watching the puppy that we’re puppy-sitting hump his doggie bed (YEAH that’s a whole ‘nother post) then he turns and I basically throw the test at him. So he’s sitting there like he’s studying Calculus and is like….so….is that….are those….two lines….does that mean…is this for real….

And I’m like DAWG IT’S FOR REAL AIN’T NO FALSE POSITIVES IN THIS HO and he’s like

and then we’re both like (click if you can’t see movement)

So this morning I used the other test:

And so basically shit just got real around here. Everyone we’ve told (family and close friends) so far has had either one or a combination of the following reactions (click if you can’t see movement)


My estimated due date (which really doesn’t mean anything cause Minicorn will come when she/he damn well feels it’s time)? Our anniversary. Our 5-year anniversary. December. I wasn’t even going to “try” this month cause holiday birthdays can suck.

Symptoms (that I thought were PMS):
Cramping
Bloaty/tight feeling (I’ve been about that unbuttoned-pants life at work since yesterday)
SLIGHT nausea
Weird taste in my mouth (metallic?)
Random Rick Rossing food (one night I cooked, ate my plate, gave my 2nd (!!) roll to Crabby because I was getting full, snatched it back from him and ate it, then finished his plate)
Frequent Pee
Other Clues
Besides the ladybug and the supermoon, Max the Cat has been EXTRA snuggly with me lately. He’ll jump on my side of the bed only, he NEVER bothers Crabby. He wants to be under me with my arms around him. If I don’t pet him or put my arms around him, he bites my hair. My cat. Noms. My Hair. When he doesn’t get what he wants. Just deal with that.

I have so much to do, to research now. I don’t want a hospital birth if everything is “normal” so I’ll be looking up midwives and birth centers. Vegan pregnancy/nutrition. My mom and Cas told me to eat spinach. My mom, by the way, was so excited she did not sleep last night. Did. Not. Sleep. She says she hopes it’s a girl because she already started buying Disney DVDS and ooh Tangled is out so she gotta buy Tangled. I already can’t.

So um…yeah. I am pregnant. Pregnancy is not a guarantee that I will end up with a baby. But for right now, I am pregnant. Minicorn is in the muhfuggin building.

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Comments on: "The Ladybug & The Supermoon" (30)

  1. the pictures have kilt my soul completely!!!

    congrats babygirl!!!!

    and now the fun begins 🙂

  2. Nigga if ive not been scaaaarrreeeeming all morning extra happy!?, but die for that crabby reaction gif and then having the bawls of talking about me

  3. I’d get the Holy Ghost raht now but I ain’t trying to get struck, soooooo………

    *butterflys all up in this beotch*

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!! *carries you around on my shoulders like you won a prizefight or some shyt…and you’re still teeny enough for me to do it anyway*

    Girl, I’ve been wondering about it off and on all winter, hoping and wishing and sacrifi–nevermind. I know how much you’ve wanted this(Crabby, too), and I am so over-the-supermoon happy for you two!

    Now I need to find some good cotton yarn(because I dont’ want acrylic and something is telling me you won’t want wool) because I need to get my hook out!!

    *prances off, wondering if I can find a Charlie The Unicorn pattern….*

  4. Congrats, doll!! Been a long time coming and I’m soooo happy for you.

  5. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    NIGGIE.

    i teared up when we hung up, i was talking to Holley about it and she said to tell you congrats!

    i swear fo gawd, a cpl of morning ago i was thinking about how i would act when you told me, but see your tweets from last night raised my pressah awl the way up so i already knew what it was.

    YAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS!!!!!

  6. these gifs…i WON’T

    but i wont ack like i didn’t vogue and clap my thighs all the way to the ground

  7. Congrats! That’s so awesome!

  8. Nonotthejacket said:

    OMGGGGGGAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS to you both!!! I’m so happy for youl!!

    I’ve been screaming in my head all day! The twin called me at work “Did you check your texts?!?” and we squeed so bad all over the phone that a co-worker had to ask if everything was ok!

    Ladybugs are lucky as all hell, and then your supermoon sign!! Somebody was tryna tell you something!! *screams some more*

    Random Rick Rossing food (one night I cooked, ate my plate, gave my 2nd (!!) roll to Crabby because I was getting full, snatched it back from him and ate it, then finished his plate)

    -THIS. Why you gotta do ish like this?? And I’m relieved yet upset that I can’t view the gifs here on the planation….

  9. You’ve made my day and I couldn’t be happier for you! And to think you were pregnant at my baby shower! I bet the cupcakes didn’t hurt either – I like to think it was the cupcakes

    I’m so very very happy for you, it’s going to be wonderful and I swear you had BETTA post updates or text me or call me or SUH-in!

    EEEEE!!!!! I’m sooooo happy for you!!!!

  10. Kingsmomma said:

    Double line win yes!!!! Congrats on your minicorn. I for one can’t wait to see the pregnant posts.

  11. i’m about to be the play auntie sending educational books and ish (and UT and USC gear for the minicorn). yay…congrats gem!!! 🙂

  12. OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

    *gets all the way crunk, writhes on the floor & wines to di side with joy*

    *serious face* Now whatever you do: DON’T TEACH IT TO SPEAK. You’ll thank me later O_o

    PS- If you do get to use a midwife you’ll be so happy with the experience. Don’t let anyone talk you out of it. I loved mine!

    Love & Balls (and blessings, I guess lol),
    Jaded

  13. Gem!!! I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! 🙂 We were just talking about this at the shower, it’s just fantastic! So it looks like in a few months Desiree and I will be making a road trip to Houston for you! Congratulations, I am so happy for you and your husband!

  14. AHHHH!!!!!!!!! Gemmy is preggers!!!! Welcome to the sisterhood! I’m so happy for you!

  15. I am so mad you have to click on these Gifs to see the movement! Stupid computer.

    Beth: Thank you!!!

    QQ: ohok.com but you casually toss about embiggen like it ain’t no thang

    Alicia: *pregnant Dougie* Thank you for all them lanks!

    Sherbear: YAAASSS oh but this kilt me: “Girl, I’ve been wondering about it off and on all winter, hoping and wishing and sacrifi–nevermind” If you found a Charlie pattern I would DIE.

    Lina: Thank you!!!

    kit: Like I said, I snatched all your tweets up into my Favorites then I DIPPED. *ring-around-the-rosey*

    Vesper: Thank you!

    Nono: Aw you and Sherbear made me tear up! Not to mention Kit’s crunkness, Desiree’s shrieks, and Q’s screaming voicemail. This is awesome. Oh but please do come back and view these GIFs when you get home. You’ll hate me and thank me.

    Desiree: You should totally name them Desiree’s Strawberry Fertility Vegan Cupcakes. PATENT IT! And of course I’ll update you I know I’ll be getting on your nerves soon enough!!!

    kingsmomma: I am still devastated about your avatar. I should ban you. Preg posts starting tomorrow cause it will be 4 weeks!

    dr mdc: HOLA!!! I missed you! Yes send me all the titles you have, I will devour them!

    Jaded: Well, at least it wasn’t in my mom’s living room this time. You had a midwife?! I may e-mail you with some questions.

    Kesha: HI!!! We were just talking about it! I WAS PREGNANT AT THE SHOWER AND DIDN’T KNOW IT. This is crazy! I would love if you guys drove on down. I still have your number saved, I know we will be texting soon once it gets all the way real for Desiree!

    Monique: Thank you soooo much!

  16. It doesn’t matter that we had to click on the gifs, cause I chuckled till my husband asked what was it and he guffawed when I showed him. Congratulations! remember, no litter box changing for you.

  17. I’m back because I have to read your story again and I STILL laugh at you dipping the stick in the toilet! And then I die when I click on the walking dog – I seriously think I clicked on it like ten times! DYING!

    And I looove that you’re being told not to teach it to speak. BEST. ADVICE. EVER. 🙂

  18. That last gif, I’m sorry I dont think I’m gonna be able to… I just can’t.

  19. oh my GOSH, WHERE do you get these videos?!?

    i’m dying laughing over here. Congratulations!!!

  20. *moonwalking all thru your comments section*

    CONGRATS!!!!

    These gifs tho?
    *logging you off forever* LOL

  21. PS- For the record, I am pretty sure my reaction was the queens j-setting.

  22. Gemmy!!! Aww shnizzle and shnazz for the minicorn peapod! S’wonderful snews! Now send me some of that supermoon/ladybug water so I can partake of preggers vibe. LOL

  23. congratulations!…..i don’t comment all that often, but i definitely read all that often (HA!)…..so congrats again!

    the gif’s……OMG (like will.i.am on that usher song)

  24. Awww congrats Gem 🙂

  25. Bee: YAAASSSS Crabby has already taken over litter-box duties. I had him take over after I got the smiley-face and before I got the positive preg test. The last gif is LIFE.

    Desiree: I can’t look at the dog anymore, my eyes are burning!

    naija: Thank you! Girl, those gifs can save lives.

    La: THANK YOU MY LOVELY! BWAH, my mom’s reaction was totally the Patti gif

    Kelly: Thank you birdie! You should e-mail me I DEFINITELY have some tips since it took some months.

    tacita: AWESOME. Thank you for de-lurking and visiting and reading and commenting!

    Krissy: Thank you! 🙂

  26. gimme your email, I’ve been wandering all over the blog trying to locate…its friday, im a lil slowwww

  27. Girl, I’m at work and I wanna holla so damn bad.
    So excited for you!! Need you’re address so I can gift you & the baby.

    And for real, I need you to tell me where you found that vid w/all the fella’s dancing in a “drunken stupor”. Think is was that Nubby guy outta New Orleans. Correct me on this.

  28. PoliBohoGlam said:

    Girl . . . yous baking a human?
    Congratulations!

    I have a total of zero advice to give, seeing as I’m sans baby and all.
    But, I wish you peace, happiness, and tremendous joy for this experience with the minicorn.

    ::throwsglitterandsauntersoutthisbishlikeacontestantfromgifnumbersix::

  29. Congratulations Gem!!

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