I ovulated on March 17 (THAT’S RIGHT I’M STARTING BACK FROM A BLOG HIATUS WITH A NICE CUP OF TMI, DEAL WITH IT). On that day, as I was walking to my car a ladybug landed on my bag and stayed there until I got in the car, then flew off. Enchanting.
That Saturday, we drove up to Dallas for Desiree’s baby shower. I kept thinking back to when she gave me those boxes of ovulation predictors and said that she hoped I would be pregnant by her baby shower. At that point, it looked like another month, another bust. Driving home, I stared at the Supermoon almost the whole way back. I have had a fascination with the moon since I was a baby so you can frequently catch me staring at it. I thought about it’s status as a fertility symbol and wondered if the Supermoon meant Superfertile times were ahead.
Then, on a message board I joined for women trying to conceive, a few of us decided to take pregnancy tests on Tuesday. We called it Testing Tuesday. I threw in a lawyer disclaimer and said that I didn’t want to waste a pregnancy test so I would just take an ovulation test.
For those who don’t know, the hormone released before ovulation and the hormone released during pregnancy are almost exactly the same. The pregnancy hormone just has a little something extra, which means the ovulation predictors will pick up on the hormones that the ovulation and the pregnancy hormones share. Which means if I know that I have ovulated, if the ovulation predictor turns up positive, it could be detecting the pregnancy hormone. If it’s negative, then I don’t have to stress out about taking a pregnancy test.
So back to Testing Tuesday. I said I’d take an ovulation test BUT only if my temperature didn’t drop in the morning. I’ve been charting (it’s really a lot easier than it looks/sounds) and when my period is on the way, my basal temperature drops dramatically. My period is due Saturday so Tuesday is when the temp should have dropped. It didn’t, so I decided to test.
I peed in a cup and dipped the ovulation predictor in. As it was developing, I dumped the pee in the toilet. As I’m washing my hands I’m thinking, tra-la-la, it’s going to be negative and that’s okay, time to brush my teeth, I wonder who will take the dogs out this morning because–(I reached over to dry my hands)–HOLY SHIT THERE’S A SMILEY FACE. IT’S POSITIVE.
At that point I turned into a velociraptor with a jet-pack and scissors (please embiggen (I hate QQ) the picture for full impact).
My thought process went something like DAAAAAAAH IT’S POSITIVE! BUT IT’S TOO LATE TO USE THE PREGNANCY TEST BECAUSE I DUMPED MY PEE! OH BUT I DIDN’T FLUSH IT NOW DID I? THE PEE IS STILL AVAILABLE. I’M GOING TO USE THAT PEE ASLDFJAOSEIRJAW;LJ
So like the crackhead that Desiree later called me, I frantically ripped open The Precious–my sole, lone, solitary digital pregnancy test….AND DIPPED IT INTO THE TOILET-O-PEE. I lost my marbles y’all. This was the result:
So then I was like WHATCHU MEAN NOT PREGNANT? I GOT A SMILEY FACE AND I’M NOT OVULATING BECAUSE I ALREADY OVULATED SO WHATCHU TRYNA SAY? Then I calmed down and thought, I need to buy another test.
Crabby came in at that point, not quite awake and I’m sure I said something like BABY WE GOTTA BUY ANOTHER PREGNANCY TEST BECAUSE A;LDKGSJAOSEIRJAOWEIJFOAWEJT and he just blank-stared me, said OK, and got a towel for his shower.
So all day I’m CRUNKED UP and Desiree is telling me to wait to test again until Saturday because that’s when I’d be “late” but everyone on the message board, Crabby, and KeKe were like ZOMG NO YOU GOTTA TEST NOW OKAY NOWWWWWWW.
So my….CAR drove me to Walgreens after work (I had no control over the car, I had to obey, I swear) and I figured WELP since I’m in the neighborhood I might as well pick up a coupla tests. So then I thought ok, Imo take the test in the morning like a good woman with the most concentrated, hormone-full pee ever. Then I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for bed and was like FUCK THAT, B, IT’S TWO TESTS IN THIS BOX SO IMO DO ONE TONIGHT. So I did and…
He doesn’t see me approaching because he’s watching the puppy that we’re puppy-sitting hump his doggie bed (YEAH that’s a whole ‘nother post) then he turns and I basically throw the test at him. So he’s sitting there like he’s studying Calculus and is like….so….is that….are those….two lines….does that mean…is this for real….
My estimated due date (which really doesn’t mean anything cause Minicorn will come when she/he damn well feels it’s time)? Our anniversary. Our 5-year anniversary. December. I wasn’t even going to “try” this month cause holiday birthdays can suck.
Symptoms (that I thought were PMS):
Bloaty/tight feeling (I’ve been about that unbuttoned-pants life at work since yesterday)
Weird taste in my mouth (metallic?)
Random Rick Rossing food (one night I cooked, ate my plate, gave my 2nd (!!) roll to Crabby because I was getting full, snatched it back from him and ate it, then finished his plate)
Besides the ladybug and the supermoon, Max the Cat has been EXTRA snuggly with me lately. He’ll jump on my side of the bed only, he NEVER bothers Crabby. He wants to be under me with my arms around him. If I don’t pet him or put my arms around him, he bites my hair. My cat. Noms. My Hair. When he doesn’t get what he wants. Just deal with that.
I have so much to do, to research now. I don’t want a hospital birth if everything is “normal” so I’ll be looking up midwives and birth centers. Vegan pregnancy/nutrition. My mom and Cas told me to eat spinach. My mom, by the way, was so excited she did not sleep last night. Did. Not. Sleep. She says she hopes it’s a girl because she already started buying Disney DVDS and ooh Tangled is out so she gotta buy Tangled. I already can’t.
So um…yeah. I am pregnant. Pregnancy is not a guarantee that I will end up with a baby. But for right now, I am pregnant. Minicorn is in the muhfuggin building.