I’m proud to say this is from my city. A friend posted this on my FB wall Saturday, then OHellNawl posted it today. My favorite parts are bolded, of course.
$500 HOLY CRAP! IS THAT A ROOM FOR RENT ON MY CRAIGSLIST??!?!?!? (North of River Oaks) (map)
Date: 2010-02-19, 9:59AM CST
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
You bet your nomadic ass it is. Do you want to be homeless? Then you better come check this room for rent out. It has WALLS and a CEILING. BLOCKS THE FUCKIN WIND AND RAIN FOOL!
ZOMG THE LOCATION IS THE SHIT. You can WALK to Washington Avenue from here. So you can get your drink on and do some mackin playa. 10 mins from UH and Rice cause we all about higher education up in here. You could hit Memorial Parkway with a ROCK. But don’t. We keep it civilized.
We got carpet up in this hoe too. (Gem-I blacked out briefly) They wanted to come put in hard wood floors. But I was like FUCK THAT. I don’t want my feet to be cold when I get out of bed at night. Carpet. So soft. Transcends the walking barefoot experience.
Man the room… You can put your bed and furniture UP IN HERE! So you can sleep, chill, even EAT. You got a private bedroom! We ain’t bunk bedding out this motherfucker.
AWWW SHIT! YOUR OWN PRIVATE BATHROOM!!!! WTF!?!?!? YUH! You can shower and take a shit w/o anyone being up in your business!!! I’m not bullshittin either… I’m talking HOT WATER IN THE SHOWER.
We got ELECTRICITY. POWER ALL YOUR APPLIANCES. Play my XBox360 because I never do. No need for candles or firewood, because I got LIGHTS and HEAT.
-this pad has doors so people don’t come up in yo space son
-this place has windows so you can see outside and shit. WHATSUP NEIGHBORS!
-tennis courts, 2 pools, parking garage, a park in the back, brand new gym so you can get swoll. Sand volleyball court WHAT!