So, on our anniversary night Crabby went to help his cousin with something and upon leaving saw a cat meowing loudly and trying to pick stuff off the ground to eat, and just generally looking adorable. He couldn’t leave him out there so he brought him home.
The cat looked generally healthy and had no collar/tags; by it’s temperament it clearly was a housecat. He made a late-night run to get some food and a litter box.
The next day we took it to the Humane Society to get checked out and learned that ‘it’ was a ‘he’, he was 3-4 years old, he had been de-clawed and neutered, and he was in perfect health. No microchip. I had been considering putting fliers up in the area but after hearing he had been de-clawed I got pissed and nixed the flier idea. You don’t let a cat go outdoors who has been de-clawed; it is defenseless. Tis extremely cruel. So we went to Petsmart and stocked up on cat goods and now we have a cat.
Sidebar: The Humane Society featured the resident staff cats; one with only one eye and one with only three legs. The one-eyed cat would walk around the whole reception area, checking on people and their pets in the waiting area. Some dude came in with a brolic rottweiler named Barack, a 3 year old grizzly bear sized white bulldog with mange or skin allergies or something kept farting butane blasts, a lady walked around singing Danke Schoen, another lady with rollers and a shower cap talked about how her dog would do anything for some cheese, and there was something in a shoebox.
We eventually agreed on the name Maximus or alternatively, any cunty variation of Max including Maxy-pooh among others. He is VERY vocal, I’m talking 2 and 3 syllable words. You can say “Hi kitty!” and he’ll say “Mraaaoow!” Or he’ll come look at you and say “Oommraooww?” and you’ll say “What?” and he’ll say “Mrraow!” He has different cat words and I’m learning what each mean. This is the first cat experience ever for both of us so we have a lot to learn. Seeing him use the litter box then get out and cover up the “mess” is hilarious. I knew cats were fastidiously clean but man this is high comedy.
He and our dogs are slowly getting used to each other. He and Pookie (the poodle) have a wary agreement worked out and can be around each other; Topaz is still like WTF Mom and Dad a little bit. Max has a BEAUTIFUL coat; he’s a tabby with the white in the front. Golden brown with dark brown stripes. Some of the stripes on his back are more like spots and his head is like a ginger red golden brown color. Clear peridot green eyes.
So all you cat people come in, welcome! Anything I should know? Oh, the first night we had him he meowed a lot (we kept him in a crate) so at 6am Friday (I was off work) I went in there and he got on my lap (on the loveseat) and we slept together like that for 2 hours.
I still wonder if I should put fliers up but I just don’t understand how an indoor cat is suddenly outside out of nowhere in the middle of the night and if he WAS an indoor/outdoor cat I kind of think whoever had him doesn’t deserve him as he was not microchipped, had no collar/tags, and was de-clawed. Iono. What chall think?
And now the pictures!
In conclusion, I would like to again stress the importance of surrounding yourself with quality people in your life. Here are some of the text messages and FB messages I received:
On what to do with a new cat:
FB friend: fill a bowl with vodka and let it sip on that…it will knock out and then you put it out without a scratch! you’re welcome!
FB friend #2: Love it! And then IDK after that…
Alex: That cat conned yall. He just wanted a place to crash. He’s gonna tear your crib up n blame it on Pookie then rob y’all blind.
Regarding what to name the cat:
KB: Kitty wiggums!
KB: What about Bitcha Bitechoface?
Cas: All time great MLB player Satchel Paige. Because kitty has balls, yo.
KB: Kitty Berray
QQ: Or Lopez Ramirez *my last name*
QQ: All my pets have people middle names so I respectfully suggest Omarion for his middle name
QQ: Oh how bout Tupac Omarion *my last name* a lil bit hard a lil bit bitchass?
FB friend #3: Unity! (You have to have seen the Dave Chappelle/Rick James skit to get that one)
When I showed QQ the pic of the cat laid out her response was: I can’t even understand how Tupac is already laid out by Topaz blankie (so upset that she has deemed him Tupac, oh and Crabby tried to name him Jaws, I absolutely cannot)
When I told QQ I thought the cat was a boy because I didn’t feel any nipples:
QQ: You molested a strange Boycat?…hmm boycatt is a good name