Make a real impact on a research field
Immerse myself potentially in subjects I love to learn about and contribute to
Potential prestige in a career where there are not many of “me”
Potential career with a flexible schedule (winter holidays and summer off? Holla!)
Be able to set examples for, instruct, and mentor fresh and eager minds year after year
Publish and be cited
Speak and author
I feel like I would be wasting potential and brainage if I don’t at least try
Give up potentially 5-6 years of my life and risk burnout (which I am already feeling the insistent tugs of)
Risk an extremely tight job market
Possibly be forced to relocate somewhere less than ideal or just straight up FML-ville
Be stuck with ignorant, privileged, disrespectful ass students
Being responsible for grading stuff
Publish or perish mentality/fighting for tenure
Don’t necessarily possess the personality and stomach for this kind of competitive environment
Am I pursuing this because I feel I “should” and not because I really want to?
Can’t deny the feeling of excitement I get looking at the programs though
Putting Crabby in situations he may not wish to be in (moving, staying somewhere for years, putting everything on my job prospects)
Settle down and nest
Which means I can get what I want and I can TRAVEL which is the main thing I need to keep my brain functioning
Obtain a home of some sort
Which leads to being able to actually entertain in my own domain and host game nights and Halloween porties (it’s the little things)
More and better time spent nurturing my relationships
Produce a mini-corn or mini-corns?
I can finally get back to READING what I WANT to read! LEISURE READING, I MISS YOU!
Much more flexibility career-wise
But much more possibility of boredom in a career I don’t really want?
But is it essential that I get complete satisfaction in a career if I have satisfaction outside?
Even a boring career could free me up with time to pursue hobbies and interests on the side which would help my brain to not DIE
Stability, I can haz?
But what would I DO? What CAN I do?
I have been inspired lately by various blogs and blog posts that either blatantly or just by existing urge me to follow my dreams, to be willing to risk it all to achieve bliss…but what ARE my dreams? A lot of these dreams that I see being fulfilled by others are directly career-related…but do they HAVE to be career-related? Whatever dreams I DO have that could possibly be filled through a career, could they not be pursued on the side, ALONGSIDE whatever I do to earn mainstream money, so I don’t have to put all my eggs in one basket? Depends on what my dreams are, I guess. I feel like I have an abstract, but upon closer inspection the words get blurry. I need to see them. I need to list what makes me happy and smile and FEEL that sense of cozy content satisfaction. I am an extremely visual person. I need lists. I need to see. I need to write. I need to color. I’m working on it.
*sigh* I hate pergatory.