I had one of those self-realization/epiphany moments the other day that came to light simply from my husband telling me he liked my natural speaking voice.
My natural speaking voice is pretty deep. Sort of like Alicia Keys deep, but not quite that homeboyish (anyone remember how she used to talk around her 1st album? I doooooooo!). But hearing that made me realize that I rarely use my natural speaking voice unless I’m at work, or bitching someone out. I realized that most of the time I speak in a higher, lighter voice. Why? Why have I been doing that for so long?
I have always been extremely shy (in the past) to somewhat reserved (now) unless I know you pretty well. I suffered from low self-esteem for various reasons, like many other girls and young women. Most of my friends (and even some of my bloggies–blogging homies) view me as a hippie unicorn sunshine creature–which I am, most of the time. I wonder if over the years I unconsciously changed my voice tone to “fit” that image of me. Or to seem non-threatening in general, maybe? My voice sounds pretty authoritative when I get to talkin’ bout thangs. In one of those party games where people have to write stuff about you, last week, a friend wrote that I was a Southern Belle. When I think back to the voice I have been using, my southern accent also sounds a LOT stronger in the voice I “use” than when I use my natural speaking voice. KB said I sound like Sandy the Squirrel from Spongebob Squarepants. I have not heard the voice of this character, so KB’s ass-beating status is currently pending.
(As long as I don’t sound like Beyonce, LAWD)
Anyhoo, so now I’ve been trying to consciously use my natural speaking voice and in the process have become aware of the different situations I use the “pixie-friendly” voice in. It’s not COMPLETELY unnatural, as when I’m tired or other random times my voice is softer but there is a definite switch. But I have fallen in love with my natural speaking voice after all these years. It’s unique, awesome, zexy, powerful, direct. Pixies can have deep voices! No more trying to fit an image. It’s amazing how we can be so UNAWARE of the things we do to hone our presentation of selves. And all it took was this one comment (shout out to my boo, HEEEYYY!). I am seriously stunned over here.
Have any of you had something similar happen to you? Where you tried to hide or play down a physical or personality trait of yours (consciously or unconsciously) that you felt somehow wouldn’t “fit”? Share!
In other news, my jaw has been hurting like whoa. I know my teeth are out of alignment but I’m in denial over braces. Invisilign, maybe. Anyone been told you need braces in adulthood? I also want, NEED Lasik. Soon, my pretties, soon. Anyone had Lasik??