My existence is a life-long treasure hunt.

As you all know, I am mixed with unicorn. This is a source of pride for me, so it hurts to tell y’all I cried so many rainbow unicorn tears after witnessing the following unicorn tattoo tragedies. Join me, won’t you?

Why is it wearing the hood of the Grim Reaper? The magic gem in the middle of it’s forehead…what really kills me is how serious it looks about rocking out on the guitar. And if that wasn’t enough of a guitar pick to the soul, they had to put metal at the bottom and splatter blood everywhere. I’m feeling weak…

…*grabs a counter to steady myself* I need answers. Why is it pissing a rainbow onto a cupcake, which then appears to give the cupcake almighty powers? What’s with the foliage in the background? Why is all of this #1?

…It’s…it’s raping a dolphin, guys. Look at the expression on the dolphin’s face. The unicorn just straight up plucked homeboy (homegirl?) out the ocean and is making the dolphin it’s bitch. Why? Also, does the rainbow really need to be a backdrop to this taking of innocence?

…I can’t. I just can’t.

To see more, click here via here. I don’t know whether to thank or fight my husband for showing me this.

Comments on: "Unicorn Tattoos Gone Horribly Wrong" (17)

  1. Kingsmomma said:

    LMAO this was hilarious but its even worse b/c i’m sure these are “macho” dudes with these tangy a$$ unicorn tats.

    The rainbows just put the icing on the cake

  2. Qucifer said:

    you said this

    “As you all know, I am mixed with unicorn.”

    and basically the post went to hell for me, and fuck you very much for that

  3. *super dead* at that unicorn hitting the dolphin from the back. what kind of…


    you’re stupid for this.

  4. minista said:

    Being a metalhead the first one would be an appropriate tattoo for my chick. But the unicorn butt fucking the dolphin…I damn near kilted myself!

  5. mrs. mary mack said:

    It’s too damned early in the morning for this! WTH?! I would like to concentrate on the fact that the last tat has ‘Everyday I’m Hustlin’ around it with what appears to be a chain and diamonds around him. WHO in THE hell would do that to a poor defenseless unicorn?!! Tell your husband to stop it right now!

    word verification says: tropluro. LOL Why does it fit this blog?!

  6. i hate youuuuu!! i cant even…. i just hate you lmao. these tattoos have perplexed my mind and troubled my soul for the day, thank you.

  7. ChocolateOrchid said:

    ROFL LMAO!!!
    This is sick! *continues laughing*

  8. Epitome said:

    *rains copious amounts of genitalia on your head until you reach a state of near unconsciousness*

    This is just damn wrong!

  9. Desiree said:

    Fight him – fight him now. Of course I had to clink the links, of course I had to read all about the dude with the white power tattooed on his ass and now I’m just mad. 🙂

  10. karrie b. said:

    you need your ass beat.

  11. vesperinlimbo said:

    On the second pic…it looks like the “foliage” is coming out of his/her bum!

    This is too funny.

  12. ahaha i like how the second one is pissing rainbow and shitting plants. wonderful

  13. *crawls into the comment box…attempts to comment…collapses dead again*

  14. Slaus of O Hell Nawl said:

    I just wanna fight you in your pretty ass face, I really do. I mean WHY is the rainbow all cuddling through the unicorns legs and pissing onto the cupcake though.. i need an answer.


  15. Wilfredo said:

    That was the most awesome thing that I’ve ever read about unicorns!!! Yeah, all those medieval tapestries about the unicorn and a virgin that you would see in the museums? BORING!!! They pale in comparison to these rockin’ tats! Hahahahahahahaha!!!

  16. Patricia Grannum said:

    wow @ the unicorn violating the dolphin like that. That’s just wrong lmao!!

    Love ur blog

  17. Cheron L. Hall said:

    oh god no. i had unicorn everything as a child…almost, I said ALMOST got a tat of a unicorn on my stomach? area coming out of High School, yikes, could’ve ended up in this blog since my stomach now looks like eggfoo young…ugh…how dare they!

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